Let us begin at the beginning- what is that most desired by the human heart in all the world? One could say that the desire to be satisfied is that which resides most deeply in the human heart. But what then satisfies this desire? Perhaps it is money, or power, or perhaps the pleaseures of the world and the flesh? Yet money grows useless and idle in overabundance and the rich are more often less satisfied with life than others. As for power, one king dies, another arises- there is nothing new under the sun. It is but Vanity, as the Biblical writer tells us. Perhaps then the pleasures of the world? Yet those who partake of such without moderation become old and withered before their time, like a candle that stays too long near the fire. What then, is this unquenchable desire which has been planted within the human heart?
Truly, that which is meant to satisfy the heart is love. How can that be, you say, when so many, who no doubt have loved, are now so sad? If that is the case, then why is divorce more rampant now than ever before? If mankind truly desires love, then why is there war and death, poverty and famine? Why? It seems that this is the failure of love. It has been tried and found wanting.
To answer this, let us explore this crazy little thing called love. First, one should always define one's terms. So I shall begin with explaining first what love is not, then moving on to what love is.
Love- or perhaps better, non-love. What is it? Let us begin with the definitions of the world. Let us begin with the most obvious, frequently glorified by Hollywood and various elements of the media world-wide; sex! Surely, is not love, sex? No, though sex may be a part of love- it is, truly, the expression of the flowering of marital love, but outside of the covenant of marriage, sex becomes one of, a supremely selfish act, as it says to the other, "You're not good enough for me to make myself wait for later. I want you NOW!" Yet love is not about the "I," rather about the "other." Thus, sex itself is not love.
Perhaps one would counter with, but what if the other wants it? Then we come to the issue of circumstance in the action, resulting in the same problem as before. If not saved for the proper time and place, it is not an act of self-giving that intercourse is meant to be, but rather it becomes an act of self-gratification. There are three parts to an act- the intention, the act itself, and the circumstances. If even one of these is wrong, then the marital act is rendered inherently selfish, non-loving.
"What is love? Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more!" So runs a popular song, though perhaps it runs not as popularly as it used to. But is the avoidance of pain truly what makes love be what it is? If anything, love is the acceptance of pain and suffering, rather than the avoidance of it.
Perhaps one might say that to love is to always be happy. Yet while this would seem nice, it would not match common human experience, which proves very easily that remaining in that state of contentement the world calls happiness at all times is impossible.
Perhaps love is always making others happy. While this is closer to the ultimate purpose of love, it is still lacking the distinguishing of love from "good intentions."
One might say that love consists in living a good life. But what then, is a good life? If a good life is to never bother anyone, to remain in a perpetual state of inaction so as not to upset others, then is that what it means to be good, to never risk the ire of others? Or perhaps, is that fear? Either way, is that what it is to love? Be warned! For if ye be lukewarm, ". . . I shall spit thee forth," says God.
Perhaps then, love is to perpetually find fault with others that they may become better persons! Yet, if this is done without the intention, truly, of doing what is best, then is that love? Does love nit-pick and nag at all times? Is love something that brings others down to one's level rather than striving to raise them up? Does love critique without relent? Nay, for that breaks the spirit and crushes the soul continually- that is not the the way of love.
More in the next post!
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